If You’re Listening Why Can’t You Hear What I’m Saying. . identifying limiting beliefs

by Alison on May 29, 2012 · 6 comments

in Blogging,Conscious Living Tools,Creativity & Leadership,Energy Clearing & Balancing,Happiness,holistic living,Motivation & Success,Personal Development,Personal Life Coach/On Line Coach,Self Realization

Chinese Proverb; A book tightly shut is but a block of paper.

The other day I was talking with someone about something which I didn’t realize was a ‘hot button’ issue for me.  I was giving them all the reasons why what they were proposing would not work for me.  I was anticipating failure before even getting started with what they were asking me to do.  They couldn’t understand why I was being so negative.

I wanted to ‘think positively’ but I couldn’t.  Nothing in me was able to effectively keep my mind from reverting back to the same thought of ‘I won’t be successful at this’. . . . and then the light dawned.

I was suffering from the after shock of a negative experience around a similar situation  which had been reinforced by negative beliefs . I had become like a book tightly shut, but a block of paper.

Limiting beliefs form as a result of negative experiences.  If every time you pet the dog it bit you, you would soon form a belief that petting the dog was dangerous.  No matter what is said to try and convince you otherwise, as long as the underlying limiting belief is fueled with fear, the subconscious mind will seek to protect you by offering resistance via the conscious mind.

When we listen for what is being said under the words we are more likely to hear what’s driving the conversation. Instead of trying to adopt a more positive attitude on top of  negative beliefs, we can use the incident to get to the root of the problem and delete the negative programming.

In observing with heart-mind, instead of judging with the head, we open to a deeper level of communication.  As we spot that roiling ocean of fear under the words, we are tipped off to the fact that we are not upset for the reason we think.  We aren’t afraid of petting dogs but after having been bitten we have the belief that we should be and thus react accordingly.

In addressing  fear-based beliefs negativity disperses.  Letting another know that we ‘get’ what they are saying on a deeper level, requires we listen with heart-ears.

Space is then created into which response instead of reaction organically occurs. Once the fear is acknowledged instead of resisted the subconscious can be reprogrammed.  Without force the positive emerges.

Negative beliefs are often slippery and can elude us. In “Taming Your Gremlin – a guide to enjoying yourselfRichard Carson offers a sure-fire way to spot negative beliefs;

  • You tell yourself that you only have one or two choices in a situation or “no choice” at all.
  • Your inner critic expresses his or her opinion. The inner critic’s opinion is generally based in a limiting belief.
  • A decision may appear to be black and white to you or, an either/or situation.
  • You have decided that “this is the way the world is.”
  • You make a decision based on fear.
  • You feel constricted and notice that you lack clarity about a specific situation.

Limiting beliefs keep us from experiencing all sorts of go(o)d in our lives.  One of the best ones to put to rest is the limiting belief that we have to convince ourselves or others to be positive.

Learning how to spot negative beliefs strengthens us.  The best part. . . .  this action sets us free from that which separates us from who we truly are.

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  • Laurie Buchanan
    Twitter: laurieholessence.com
    May 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    “In observing with heart-mind, instead of judging with the head, we open to a deeper level of communication.”

    yes, Yes, YES!

    The quote you used is new to me and I love it!
    Laurie Buchanan´s last blog post ..Chop Wood, Carry Water

    • Alison June 1, 2012 at 2:08 pm

      I’d never seen that quote before either Laurie, glad I happened on it though, it just seemed to fit perfectly with the post.

  • John C May 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Hi Alison,

    Great discourse on staying positive and banishing those wicked negative thoughts. You’d like to think that if a dragon came to your door you’d chase it or sleigh it, but how often we are tricked into trying to get a discussion going with it and thinking something could get something good out of it.

    Speaking of Japanese books, this article reminds me of what happens when you open a kareoke book. It’s just a book. You open it. Listed are a thousand songs, but they are all just words and look about the same. But the decision you make as to which song to sing sets the mood for the entire restaurant or bar. And it can even be a more powerful experience depending on how the dj sets the sound levels and if people take to dancing or singing along. The whole place could be rocking. All from what started out by picking up a “block of paper”!

    • Alison June 1, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      Thanks for your comment John, glad the post was thought provoking for you.

  • Joanne Keevers May 30, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Alison, this is a very interesting topic and one which could open a huge amount of discussion. I read about limiting beliefs only last year, in a book by Gary Zukav, and it was a real “ah-ha” moment for me. I’m still getting my head around how to remove them from my life though! I think the most important first step, however, is becoming aware of them. :)
    Joanne Keevers´s last blog post ..Towns of the Tweed ~ Over the Bridge in Tweed Heads.

    • Alison June 1, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      Indeed removing limiting beliefs takes some focused attention Joane. Over the years I have used a variety of techniques with clients, all of which have been useful. Having been trained in the use of Psychological Kinesiology to delete limiting beliefs back in the late 80’s gave me a head-start with reprogramming the subconscous. I am particularly happy with the results I’m getting using the “tapping” technique associated with the Meridian therapy – commonly referred to as EFT (emotional Freedom Technique). Best of all, once learned, the client is then empowered to use it themself as negative beliefs surface. Send me an email if you are interested in finding out more and I’ll be happy to set up a time to talk with you about it over Skype.

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